Tintorera: Tiger Shark [VHS]

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Product Description

Two Mexican tourists, Steven and Miguel, on holiday at a tropical island resort, flirt with various ladies from England and hunt sharks. The partying soon becomes disrupted by a large and monstrous tiger shark who begins attacking and devouring tourists. Steven and Miguel decide to take it upon themselves to hunt down and kill the beast.

Tintorera: Tiger Shark [VHS] Review

Jaws (1975) is one of my favorite films, and not just because of the fantastic and terrifying effects involving the shark, but because it's one of the most well crafted movies ever produced...the acting, the plot, script, direction, musical score, casting, the character development, attention to detail...everything came together so well...too well, as it turns out because soon afterwards, nearly everyone was churning out lame films featuring any kind of beastie you could imagine in an attempt to try and feed off the success of Spielberg's popular film, incorporating very little, if anything, that made Jaws so good, including this Mexican production entitled Tintorera (1977) aka The Silent Death aka Bloody Waters aka Tiger Shark.

Directed by the prolific Ren Cardona Jr., whose specialty seems to be low budget schlocky Mexican films, the film features English actress Susan George (Straw Dogs), Hugo Stiglitz (Incubo sulla citt contaminata aka City of the Walking Dead), Andr�s Garc�a (The Bermuda Triangle), and Fiona Lewis, who some may remember as the evil Dr. Margaret Canker from the film Innerspace (1987). As the film begins, we are presented with two men in Steven (Stiglitz) and Miguel (Garcia). Steven, who first appears as a patient in a hospital, has had some sort of stress related breakdown from working too hard, and is ordered by his doctor to take a long vacation. He ends up renting a boat off the pacific coast, near a popular Mexican resort, one where Miguel, who also appears to be on vacation, seems to be staying. Miguel is apparently a gigolo by profession, and seems to be continuing his ways at the resort, so I guess his is a working vacation. Anyway, both men end up sharing a relationship with Patricia (Lewis), but she soon gets gobbled up by a shark (in about two feet of water), and, since no one witnessed the attack, the men assume she left, and their once acrimonious relationship turns friendly, sharing the bond of both being stilted by the same woman. Miguel soon takes residence on Steven's large rented boat, and the men begin drinking, carousing with various women, and take up shark hunting. They also, in my opinion, begin developing a homoerotic relationship that's never actually shown, but certainly seemed implied. After awhile, the meet Gabriella (George), and the three develop a creepy m�nage a trois...yuck...oh yeah, there's a few more shark attacks, but that's about it...

Now mind you, I wasn't expecting anything great here, but this is just a really terrible film. I will say there are some nicely shot underwater scenes, but that's about it...even those scenes will probably end up putting off some viewers, as many real sharks were harmed in the production of this film. They really seemed to have no problem in killing off all sorts of sea life in the progression of the story. I have no love of sharks, but seeing them senselessly slaughtered again and again kinda turned my stomach. And wait until you get to the part when they gut a defenseless sea turtle...yuck...I guess fake sharks were more expensive than real sharks. The direction is really bad, as the Cardona has no concept of transitioning from one scene to another. One minute you're watching a particular scene, and then POOF!, you're watching another, completely unrelated scene, and you're left trying to figure out what the heck is going on...after awhile, I did manage to put some of the pieces together, but ultimately the jarring effect only served to take me out of the film. There was absolutely no tension throughout, even when I knew a shark attack was imminent. The film has the look of a pornographic movie from the 70's, one where they took out the hardcore sex scenes and tried, unsuccessfully, to incorporate the element of the shark. The acting was on par of what you'd expect to see in a Mexican soap opera (I'm sure Mexicans put out some wonderful shows, but their soap operas are even more atrocious than those in the US), and the dialogue is even worse. The characters spew out the most inane lines, but this does provide some unintentional humor. There is a good amount of nudity, both of the male and female kind, but it was all gratuitous as it served no purpose other than to offer weak titillation to very bored viewers. The plot is incredibly lame, and plods along at a snails pace, as this particular version has an excruciatingly long run time of just over two hours (I do believe there are a few versions out there, with shorter running times, but lucky me, this seems to be the original, uncut version). And then there's the odd and less than appropriate, completely annoying musical score...disco music and killer sharks just do not mix.

Being the 25th Anniversary Edition, one might expect something special with this release. Well, you'll probably disappointed...the full screen print used here looks probably about as good as what you'd see on a used VHS copy. The picture has visible flaws throughout, most involving damage due to age and deterioration. It's not terrible, but certainly noticeable. The dialog is mostly in Spanish, with a lesser mix of English. There are English subtitles available, but when you have that feature turned on, you also get Spanish subtitles when the characters are speaking English. What is the point of that? I suppose if you are watching the film with a group of people, some only speaking English and some who only speak Spanish, it is useful, but if not, it just seems moronic. As far as special features, there are brief biographies and selected filmographies (no listing of this film in there, oddly enough) of the director and some of the talent, along with a few trailers for films I've never heard of, as I believe they're all low budget Mexican productions.

Cookieman108

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Batman Forever - Limited Edition Steelbook [Blu-ray] [Region Free]

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Price: $49.99   

Batman Forever - Limited Edition Steelbook [Blu-ray] [Region Free] Review

Yes, I know, loving this movie isn't a popular opinion, but I'm going to go against the grain and speak out for this guilty pleasure of mine, particularly after seeing the 2-disc special edition dvd recently...

Batman Forever and its' very different tone from the first two, Tim Burton-driven films, was made to appeal to a far wider audience than those very dark films, while keeping the spirit of the Batman mythos intact. I believe the film accomplished this. There were plenty of bright lights, new bat-gizmos and bat-gadgets, exciting action-fight scenes, and even a young, edgy, heart-throb in Chris O'Donnell's Robin to appeal to kids without worrying their parents too much, and at the same time, Batman/Bruce Wayne's tortured psyche, duality and isolation was presented respectfully. Batman's darkness was still there, just shown more subltely, less graphically, yet no less tragically because we don't actually SEE people dying horribly left and right.

The story had substance and was a worthy addition to the Batman mythos. Backstories not previously touched upon were explored to my satisfaction, and the added deleted scenes in this version of the dvd flesh things out even further and make me wish that time restrictions on theatrical releases weren't quite so stringent.

Bob Kane, the creator of the Batman comic character, has said that of all the actors who have played Batman over the years, he thought blond Val Kilmer was the best and I agree. Kilmer is statuesque and stoic in the cowl and cape, using his eyes and lips to formidable effectiveness; his jaw and mouth are strong and perfectly suited for the confines of the costume. He moved well in it, even doing some of his own martial arts (such as in the opening sequence, at the bank). The stuntmen, when they took over for him, were well matched to his body type, effective and visually exciting. And Kilmer's Bruce Wayne is suave, debonair, totally believable as the lonely billionare turned Dark Knight, comfortable with his wealth but still compassionate and aware of others' plight, just as Bob Kane intended this character.

Also, I want to put to rest the insistance of some reviewers here that several of the actors involved with the project didn't want to be. That is nonsense; no one forced them to do the movie, and Kilmer very much wanted to do the sequel, Batman and Robin, but was under contractual obligation to do the movie The Saint. (This fact documented on IMBD). He may have driven the director to distraction with his attention to minute detail and insistance on getting everything just so, but there was no bad blood between them and Schumaker still maintains that he respects Kilmer as an actor and performer. Kilmer took the role seriously (as he does everything) and doesn't need to make any apologies for his performance. How I wish they could have worked something out so that Kilmer could have reprised the role again, rather than bringing in the forever-smirking, abominable Clooney...

My favorite character always, Alfred, was back, played by the delightful Michael Gough, who can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. And everyone else is well-cast too.

Director Joel Schumaker offers interesting commentary in this dvd, and made a comment at the very beginning which I wish all the fans up in arms over the nipples in the costumes would take to heart: "Those people need to get out more." He also makes another point about whose codpiece is bigger...let's not take things so seriously, hmm?

Overall, this extended version and extras are well worth the higher price for anyone who enjoyed the movie or likes to know what goes on while making a film. Great extras, including shorts on costuming, scoring, special effects, stunts, and the actors/character, added to the overall positive experience. This is a lighter but no less legitimate incarnation of these characters.

Highly recommeded.

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Stallone's Knockouts [VHS]

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Product Description

Sexy Boxing

Stallone's Knockouts [VHS] Review

This tape has it all. Sylvestor Stallone's aging mom Jackie presents some boxing/wrestling/kung-fu fighting/rapping females dressed in silky boxing shorts, bikini tops, and cheerleader and nurse outfits. There's GLOW style wrestling/boxing, Love American Style comedy bits and oh yeah we have Traci Lords looking fine and doing ringside double entendres. Now this is entertainment.....

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Long Life Exercises, Donald & Cheryl Lynne Rubbo

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Price: $69.38   

Long Life Exercises, Donald & Cheryl Lynne Rubbo Review

This DVD presents a set of 23 Chinese exercises, some of which you may have encountered before as warm ups to tai chi or martial arts classes. The disk includes a brief introduction, a detailed analysis of the wuji posture, an instructional section for the 23 exercises, and a follow-along practice session. Most of the exercises are repeated 32 times each. The practice session takes a little less than 30 minutes to complete.

The instructional section is quite detailed, and the Rubbos responsibly include possible contraindications for certain exercises, as well as modifications to make the more challenging ones more accessible. Health benefits are given for each movement as well. The video locations alternate between a simply decorated room indoors and nice outdoor scenary, including forests and rocky coastlines.

The general order of body parts exercised is hips, knees, spine, arms and shoulders, and neck. This sequence is different from other similar sets I have seen that tend to start at the head and work downwards, or from the feet and work upwards. However, I found that I felt quite good after practicing this set, so perhaps the typical order may not be that important except as a memory aid. A brief meditation that works on sending smiling energy to different internal organs is included.

I recommend this well done DVD either as a warm-up for other movement practices such as tai chi or yoga, or as a stand-alone practice in its own right. It is not a hard physical workout, but one that will lead towards greater flexibility and the free flow of energy throughout the body. Good stuff!

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Der Eisbarkonig (Import)

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Price: $49.99   

Product Description

GERMAN IMPORTED VHS.

Der Eisbarkonig (Import) Review

I rented this movie several months ago from the video store for my cousins aged 7 and 10 while their mother was out of town. They grew up in a house without cable television, in a part of the country where network television reception was not available without a cable hookup. Consequently, their media exposure as children was limited to occasional Disney movies on video. I am not a fan of Disney, or children's cartoon films in general, so I thought that this adaptation of a Norweigan folktale might fit the bill. Although I was concerned that, due to the fact that my cousins had had almost no exposure to violent or "scary" sequences in films, this movie might scare them or prove to be over their heads. BOY WAS I WRONG! They LOVED it. This is, without question, a family film. Some of the acting is cliched (the evil queen's demonic wedding banquet towards the end is so cliched that many adults will have to bite their lip to keep from laughing out loud) The special effects and animatronic polar bear sequences are actually pretty good, especially considering that this is a low budget film from 1994. Some of the polar bear sequences (particularlly the voice and facial expressions) are a bit scary, and some of the plot elements are too involed for children under 7 or 8 to understand without some explanation. The visuals are absolutely stunning in their beauty and the plot is enthralling. My older cousin is normally very easily frightened. So much so that she will run out of the room in terror when the wicked queen appears in Disney's Sleeping Beauty. During this movie she did not leave her seat once, even during the scary parts. It was almost like there was a spell on her. I cannot describe just how happy I was with this movie. It is beautiful, magical, and captivating for even the most timid of children. If I could, I would give it 6 stars. This is a must watch film, and would make a wonderful addition to any family's DVD collection

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Redd Inc. [Region 4]

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Price: $50.99   

Product Description

Australia released, PAL/Region 4 DVD: it WILL NOT play on standard US DVD player. You need multi-region PAL/NTSC DVD player to view it in USA/Canada: LANGUAGES: English ( Dolby Digital 5.1 ), ANAMORPHIC WIDESCREEN (1.78:1), SPECIAL FEATURES: Anamorphic Widescreen, Cast/Crew Interview(s), Deleted Scenes, Interactive Menu, Making Of, Scene Access, Teaser(s), Trailer(s), SYNOPSIS: Six captive office workers are chained to their desks by a demented, escaped serial killer; former regional manager Thomas Reddmann (Nicholas Hope). Redd assigns his staff the impossible task of proving his innocence or suffering gruesome consequences. Under his twisted managerial style, written warnings are carved into foreheads, filing cabinets overflow with body parts and a trip to Human Resources is likely to end in a grisly termination. Once you have spent a day at Redd Inc. you will never look at your boss the same way again! ...Redd Inc. (2012) ( Inhuman Resources ) ( Redd Inc )

Redd Inc. [Region 4] Review

Thomas Reddmann (Nicholas Hope) is convicted of being the "head hunter" serial killer when they find him in an elevator with a bloody ax in his hand standing over a decapitated body. After he escapes from the institution, he manages to round up about a half dozen people instrumental in his conviction. They are literally chained to their desks and are tasked with proving him innocent or else they will be killed/tortured.

This ironically follows a "12 Angry Men" formula while oozing with dark comedic symbolism. Thomas is the "regional manager". He considers himself to be fair. His employees agree he is fair, but think the worse of him. They are allowed 3 bathroom breaks a day. He asks them to do the seemingly impossible under stress. In his fairness, he gives each employee 5 warnings (actually 4 warnings with the fifth one being fatal). These warning are carved on their forehead, like a permanent record. Like most bosses he has a bad hair piece.

The film also contains a fair amount of blood and body parts.

Parental Guide: F-bomb, nudity (Kelly Paterniti, plus 2 background girls)

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